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The hardest part about Healing for me has been when I go to the beach or go on vacations. Since I was born my family has always loved the beach, sand, and water. I learned how to swim by 4 and would instantly transform into a mermaid every time. Falling deeply in love with the feeling the beach gave me turned my relaxation into party time in my late teens. Alcohol came into play when I mostly was with groups or family which wouldn't always have good outcomes. Now my peace of mind comes from the beach which has changed my life for the better. The beach or ocean gives me deep healing whenever I need it. I never get tired of sand in between my toes and in my clothes. I love the misty wind running through my hair as I sit there meditating. I love to swim and ride the waves as if I was a fish. When I started to lose myself the beach had a way to reset me back to reality. I still crave being near or in the ocean so much that I would buy a flight just to be in it. Then I started to realize that I have been treating the ocean as if it was just a beach and not feeling the deeper connection we may all have to water.

Water has memory and are so similar to ourselves. It can be the best to swim in but the worst part of a storm. We all have good and bad sides that need to always be balanced and healed over and over again. Through out my 38 years in this physical body I have experienced so many things that always made me feel like my life was out of control. Healing is not easy and is a Beach (aka Bitch). We all try to hide how much we are hurting or damaged but the beach always did something for me that I would recommend to everyone. Allow yourself to experience the beach by being vulnerable, truthful and sober. I am no where near where I want to be but let me tell you being sober for the first time in almost 20 years has given a sense of gratitude that can not be explained, you would have to just try it for yourself.

Now I am learning not to crave a nice cold drink on vacations while I soak up the sun. It is so hard especially when I am with other people because I don't like to impose my new lifestyle on them but I think I am a little boring now. Maybe that's why I lost so many friends, invites to outings and stopped dating. My healing journey is for me and many can not even go a week without a drink, smoking, or having sex. Healing was exactly what I needed and without me even knowing it, God had a plan and purpose for me. Healing may be hard and you may have many relapses but take it one day at a time and every time you fall back into your bad habits just get up and try again. Everyday is a struggle for me but utilize what God had given us to keep yourself focused and reset. Like healthy food or nature, everything around us can help out if we just truly want the Healing we all truly need.

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