#8 Have you ever felt like you needed to help someone heal? As if your life was designed to heal others with unconditional love. Even though I'm consistently healing myself from my own traumas; I still always give my pure heart. From places I would go to people I would meet, I started to believe that my life had a bigger purpose than I was ready to accept.
As a child, I knew I had some type of gift that made people happy and feel loved which irritated their evil sides at the same time. As I got older I learned to use my gifts improperly which would always come back to me like karma. My friendly nature was always misunderstood as flirting and would attract the wrong ones (friends & partners). I realized I couldn't heal someone who just wanted to use me for the moment which would eventually drain me. Healing someone else naturally became a thing for me, when I would attract people who needed unconditional love, going through something serious, or battling evil. Love is tricky and can make you feel all types of emotions especially when there is a lack of it. I always wanted to be the positive change in a person's life that they needed without any expectations in return. As I have been on my own healing journey I have made countless efforts to help others wherever I can whether it's a smile, talking, food, money, laughing, etc. You get the point.
We are all self-healers and if we could put our egos aside maybe we can all change 1 person at a time. I've been hurt and I have caused hurt. I know firsthand what it feels like to be lied to, cheated on, in grief, and in need of healing. There are times I would cry out loud to God and scream and ask him why me. My life has never been easy but it has blessed me in ways I could never have dreamed of. Throughout my healing journey, I've learned to be more patient. With patience comes gratitude which allows you to be calmer. I believe I attract people who are in need of healing but don't know the right way to begin. I am living proof that you can overcome any obstacle that dwells in your soul. Remembering that I was born with 1 damaged kidney and have been living with my right one only since I was 15. I was the most active child, from dancing school to playing softball, being outside was my life. I realized at an early age that I healed quickly from cuts, bruises, and heartbreak.
Healing others' hearts was always my passion since I'm a natural lover. I loved the whole idea of love and fantasy Disney soulmates. When I started dating at 15, my 1st real boyfriend broke my heart, which led me to hurt others. I allowed my emotions to get the best of me and take over the pureness of my soul which left me damaged. Over time I got hurt a few more times which started to make me cold and take on personality traits that weren't mine. My age has brought me wisdom and maturity but I still make mistakes. I am far from perfect and sometimes I think by taking a sneaky quicker route it's going to get me the love and healing I desire. Dating too quickly or having sex will not heal the parts of you that need healing nor will help me with mine.
Love is weird because you can still feel it for someone no matter how many other emotions are current. Love from your deepest part within you but remember not everyone deserves that. Be selective with who you hang out with and who is around you while you are healing. Think of yourself as a fairy with dust that others want in order for them to feel better or heal. Don't let anyone steal your dust, dim your light or bring you back to a place that you already healed from. Wounds always open back up no matter how much time goes by. So even though I have a higher purpose that helps people heal, I am being selective and also blocking those that took more from me than giving back. Healing others is in my heart but the right person will reflect the positive parts of yourself back to YOU!