HEALING SUMMER SEASON
#12 Does the heat make feel like your healing is complete? Allow me to explain why I feel like the Summer Heat can make you feel this type of way, but be an illusion of your reality. Summertime in NYC signifies dating, fun, freedom, no more school, vacations, beaches, etc. From hot & humid to rainy days, there's something that's in the air that makes you forget about the healing journey you're on.
I love when the weather begins to heat up around May because it allows me to engage in many more outdoor activities, sports, and workouts that add to my healing. But Being outside makes me want to mingle with more people that may not be on the same level, frequency, or understanding of my healing journey. This is a problem at the beach since I go there so much. I enjoy all the beautiful people and socializing with them in this atmosphere but it makes me feel like I'm taking a few steps back from my progress. Kindness/Love and Flirting/Lust can have a fine line between them. I want more but I'm not ready for more besides a basic cool conversation. The Summer Heat brought me out of the house and onto that beach, where lust lingers waiting for a healing fairy/mermaid like myself. Watching other couples lather each other up and give soft kisses, eagers me to the point of desire, temptation, and wanting to look for my person out there during my celibacy. So I think maybe I should put myself out there and engage with more people to connect with but it always backfires on me because I'm not properly healed yet.
"Healing Takes Growth" so that any situation you are in won't affect the progress you have made so far. Pressing the factory reset button in my life many times doesn't erase the memories or bad habits of my past Summers. This season brings people together for holidays, birthdays, or just because, which most of the time involves drinking & smoking. Those are another 2 battles I have been having for over 5 years. Sobriety is hard when you're outside and looking for new friends to mingle with or your person. They both take off the edge and anxiety I get by just talking to people. Dealing with all these emotions in this Summer Heat can be an intense feeling due to the internal & external temperatures rising throughout the body. Acute and chronic stress can trigger fever-like symptoms, including an elevated body temperature, body chills or aches, fatigue, and flushed skin. Psychogenic fevers are rare but occur more frequently in females. Not only is this healing journey hard for me this particular Summer season but the heat doesn't help with wanting more than just an AC-cooled home.
As you continue on your own healing journey, on your time, your way, always remember that each season will test you, especially Summer Heat. Stay strong and know that being misunderstood is ok because your light will still shine bright and attract the light that's needed in your life.